Fifty-Plus

I woke up this morning, as I always do, to music in my head. This one was Paul Simon’s “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover.” I’m now obsessed with learning all its piano chords so I can sing as I play.

“Won’t you tell me ‘bout the 50 ways?”

I thought this obsession came from husband Ted’s text to me last night about how music is also helping fellow TBI survivor and gun-safety advocate Gabby Giffords, whose legislative career ended when a bullet pierced her brain.

The former Arizona congresswoman is one of my heroes.

Then I remembered an incident at the dentist’s the other day that I laughed off at the time. The young receptionist was scheduling a cleaning in six months, and I remarked that the date would be my 55th birthday.

“Fifty-five?” she gushed. “You don’t look a day over 50!”

For those old enough to remember Gilda Radner’s Emily Litella character on the old “Saturday Night Live,” her response to news anchor Jane Curtain’s scolding at the end of each “Weekend Update” segment would have been perfect.

“B——.”

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